HIdden Feelings
by Pupcake125
Summary: Momo has been having doubts about her and Izuru. Why won't he talk to her? Does he not trust her? Her best friends help her out with her little problem. Momo x Izuru


**If only they had more Izuru merchandise. Summer's almostt coming to an end! OH-NO! I'm not worried. I don't start college until spring. Let's see how many stories I can get in! Ready, set GO!**

**I do not own Bleach!**

* * *

She loved him. There was no doubt about that. They've been friends for as long as she could remember. She knew it was only a matter of time before they got together and spent the rest of their lives with one another. He was shy and delicate, just like the flowers he loved. She was more bold and loud, letting everyone know how she truly feels. And that's one thing she'd change about him.

Izuru Kira was her lover. The blonde poet was sometimes gloomy, but he had a reason to be. She could only assume it wasn't easy living your life without parents or close family, then find out the closest person you adore and look up to is a traitorous scum bag full of venomous snakes. Sure, she too found out the hard way the man she looked up to was deceitful as well, but at least she got over it. There are still days she sees him sulk about what happened all those years ago after the winter war. She never questioned it, or told him to get over it. Grieving was tough for everyone. She remembers the feeling she got when everyone told her that her captain was never coming back and that she should wake up and face it. It hurt. And hurt bad.

But whatever Izuru did, it didn't bother her. She loved him as he did her. She loved it when he'd sit up at night writing poetry in his book, share his sake with her even though she wasn't much of a drinker, and how he would curl himself around her in his sleep at night. All of those things she loved about him. She wouldn't change one thing about him.

Though... there was one thing that bothered her about him. Something that she didn't know if she could change or not, and that worried her.

* * *

It was Saturday night. Another girls-night-out for the Reapers of the Women's Soul Reaper Association. Rangiku, Momo, Nanao, and Isane all reserved a table at the sake restaurant they all loved and arrived there just on time for happy hour. Just what Rangiku wanted.

As the girls ordered a couple of rounds of sake, they chowed down on the food that was placed on their table. Everyone chatted and laughed, except for Momo, who stared down at her reflection in her green tea.

"What's the matter, Momo?" Rangiku asked after noticing her friend's discomfort. Momo looked at her before smiling uneasily.

"Oh, nothing much. Just thinking is all." Momo said.

"Oh no," Rangiku said scooting closer to her friend with a sly smile. "There's something much more than just 'thinking' going on, Momo. I've been friends with you for years, nothing can slip past me. Even if I'm drunk." Rangiku said. Momo sighed with a smile.

"Oh, Rangiku..."

"Come on, Momo. We're all girls here. Tell us what's on your mind." Rangiku insisted.

"Yeah, she's right, Momo." Nanao said. "We're all friends as well. You can tell us. There is no one else that'll know besides us." Momo considered that telling them wouldn't be so bad. They were right. If anything... maybe they could give her some advice.

"Well..." Momo started, spinning the cup in her small hands.

"Is it Izuru?" Rangiku asked. Momo blushed furiously. How did she know? "Hahaha! Momo, it's not that hard to figure out."

"Is it really that obvious?" Momo asked with a frown. Rangiku patted her shoulder.

"Well, considering you've been dating Izuru for quite a while, I was expecting some sort of issue came up." Rangiku said. Momo sighed. So... they were expecting this to happen? Were they expecting her to fail? For her and Izuru to fall apart?

"Wrong choice of words, Matsumoto." Isane whispered.

"What we're trying to say is, everyone gets problems in a relationship. Doesn't mean it's always a bad thing." Nanao corrected, shooting Rangiku a glare. The blonde only chuckled nervously. Momo looked up at Nanao and smiled a bit. "Trust me, Captain Kyoraku and I aren't picture perfect." she adjusted her glasses.

"I guess I was just expecting a little too much." Momo sipped her tea. "But it's nothing serious if that's what you're all thinking. It's just a small issue..." she trailed off and frowned.

"This small issue seems like it's bothering you a lot, though." Isane said. She hated seeing the much smaller lieutenant so bothered. Momo sighed.

"It really shouldn't bother me, but, for some reason it does." Momo said. Rangiku leaned into Momo and whispered,

"Is it his small penis?" Momo's face turned red.

"Rangiku! That's not it at all!" Momo yelled. Rangiku put her hands up in defense and gave a small chuckle. "And besides, that's none of your business!" Momo downed her tea in frustration, and Rangiku once again received a disappointed glare from Nanao.

"Anyway... tell us what's bothering you, Momo. It really sounds like what ever it is, it's a minor problem that's having a big effect on you." Nanao said. Momo nodded. She was exactly right.

"Yes. It is." Momo took a deep breath. "What's bothering me is... he never talks to me." everyone gave her a bewildered look.

"Like, he doesn't even say hello to you when you see him?" Isane asked. "But, you're dating."

"No, I mean, he never talks to me if he has a problem." Momo corrected, then looked down into her empty cup. "I know Izuru has so many emotions and feelings bottled up inside him. I've tried so hard to get him to talk to me, tell me how he feels, show me how he's truly feeling, but I've got nothing from him. And I feel I'm not good enough for him to talk to me. Like I'm not worth it..." Momo closed her eyes. Rangiku hugged her and held her close.

"Momo, don't feel that way." she let Momo lean on her. "Momo, have you ever seen the look on Izuru's face whenever he sees you? Like a puppy seeing his owner again for the first time in a century. I've never seen so much emotion on that guy's face. He's so content with you, Momo."

"Yeah, and he seems a lot more lively with you being with him. I think you were just what he needed." Isane said next.

"Have you ever considered trying to get him to show his emotions more forcefully?" Nanao asked. "Perhaps all Kira needs is a little push to get him to spill his guts." Momo looked up at her, a little skeptical at her suggestion.

"I don't know. I mean, I don't want him to feel pressured." she sat up straight. "I respect his privacy. If he doesn't want to share anything with me, I understand. But it's not like I'd tell the whole world about his feelings. I'd keep it secret. I wouldn't tell a soul." Momo said. She cared for Izuru more than she did anyone else. She wanted him to know that. He probably did with the way she spends every hour she can with him, but she wanted him to really see it. Really feel how much she loves him.

"I'm sure he knows that." Rangiku said. "Have you been doing anything to make him see that you want him to open up?" Rangiku asked.

Momo shrugged her shoulders. "I can't really tell. If he seems a little down or feeling odd I always ask him what's wrong and that he can tell me, but he insists he's all right. I feel like he doesn't want to tell me to not worry me, but I can't be sure."

"Has he tried understanding your emotions?" Isane asked.

Momo nodded. "All the time. He's always asking me if I'm okay or if I need tea or something along those lines. And I always tell him, hoping he'd tell me what he feels. Maybe he feels more comfortable telling the guys instead of me." Momo frowned. Rangiku laughed loudly.

"Trust me, Momo. Shuuhei, Renji and Iba are the last people Kira will tell anything to. He may hang out with them and enjoy it, but I think his personal life is very private around them more than around you." Rangiku told her. Momo figured that was true, but she still didn't know why he wasn't opening up to her.

"Maybe he hasn't gotten the message." Isane said. "Maybe you really have to be open and honest and tell him that you're there for him for anything."

"I think he doesn't want to tell me because it's probably about Gin..." silence fell upon the girls. Momo regretted saying it. She knew that Rangiku was deeply affected by it as well, possibly even more than her current mate.

"Well," Rangiku shifted uneasily. "If it is because of that, it's understandable why he doesn't want to talk about it. I'm sure you were like that with... you know." Rangiku looked down. Momo sighed.

"Yes, I was. But, he doesn't have to tell me about that. He can tell me about what else bothers him. Like how he hates how brash Renji is, or how Rose's music sucks, and how Iba has a horrible taste in sake flavors." Momo's words made the girls laugh. She was only speaking the truth.

"Wow, Izuru really told you all those things about his friends?" Isane asked.

"Not exactly. I had to squeeze it out of him, but that's what he feels. And it's the way I had to practically make him tell me what was wrong that makes me sad." she looked down. Rangiku hugged her.

"Momo, don't feel down." she said softly. "Just be assertive with him. Nothing scares Izuru more than a firm woman. Especially you." she giggled. Momo smiled. Maybe she was right. Maybe if she was just out and open about it, Izuru would understand. That's what she wanted.

"You know, girls, maybe you're all right." she looked up at all her friends. They returned her warm smile, especially Rangiku. "I think all I need to do is just tell him. After all, he is a little intimidated by me. My size is pretty deceiving." they laughed, and Rangiku gave a small cheer when more food and sake arrived at the table. As everyone enjoyed the food and joked about their work and odd experiences in realm humans dwell in, Momo couldn't help but smile. All her friends were here for her. Even for the most simple and relatively stupid reasons. And Izuru... oh how she loved him.

* * *

After a full belly and a drunk Rangiku getting dragged away, the girls exited the restaurant and waved good-bye. Nanao wished Momo the best of luck and led Rangiku away with the aid of Isane. Momo thanked them for a wonderful night and a bag of advice and walked away, hoping to meet Izuru awake tonight. It was almost midnight. He may be sleeping.

_"That was sweet of them..."_

Momo gasped, then relaxed and smiled.

"Tobiume," she whispered. "I didn't expect you to be awake at this hour." she said.

_"I'm awake whenever you are. After all, I'm part of your soul"_ Tobiume said. Momo gently gripped the hilt of her beloved Zanpakatou. _"I've sensed your anxiety lately. So it's all because of Wabisuke's owner."_

Momo frowned. "Don't say it like that." she said. "It's nothing serious like that. It's just... it's complicated to explain." she ended her statement, still thinking of just how she was going to confront Izuru without sounding so brash.

_"I understand."_ Tobiume replied. _"I am happy that being with this man makes your spiritual energy so lively. It makes me feel great that you're happy again."_ Momo blushed a bit as she smiled.

"I am, too." Momo said. "I never thought he and I would have such a strong connection. But I guess that was dumb to think considering we've been friends for over a century." Momo giggled to herself. "How clueless of I."

_"How clueless of him, as well." _Tobiume started. _"Do not just blame yourself. Izuru himself should've known, too."_

"I don't blame myself for anything, Tobiume." Momo said with the same smile. "In fact, I'm kind of glad I didn't find out until now. It makes it more... interesting I guess." she said.

Momo and Tobiume talked for the entire time Momo walked home. It wasn't often since the day Tobiume reverted back to her sword form has Momo talked to her. It was nice that tonight, of all nights, that the person closest to her was talking to her so genuinely. And when Momo found herself in front of her and Izuru's door, she sighed.

"I guess it's time for me to confront him." Momo said. As bad as that sounded, if Momo didn't build up a false sense of bravery, she may chicken out and never be able to tell Izuru directly.

_"Good luck, Momo. I wish you luck."_ Tobiume said. Momo smiled at her.

"Thank-you. You sleep now. It's late." she said. When her Zanpakatou went silent, she sighed and took the handle of the door in her hand. She slid the door open and entered. As always, the small lamp on the kitchen counter was on. Izuru always left it on if she was out late for something. She smiled, but frowned rather quickly after she realized that it was half past midnight and Izuru must be asleep. It was quiet. Almost completely silent. She hoped he didn't try to wait up for her.

'_Maybe I should tell him in the morning..._' Momo thought sadly as she turned to turn off the lamp. As she reached for it, she saw just behind it a small round vase full of flowers. Flowers she knows weren't there this morning.

"Where did these come from?" Momo said aloud as she pulled the vase closer. She noticed that the flowers inside the vase were Lillies of the Valley. The same flower that represents her Division. In front of the display of the tiny draping flowers was a small card. In delicate red writing it read:

_I do not say much_

_ So these flowers speak for me_

_ The words I can't say_

Just as she finished the card, firm arms snaked around her waist and made her jump with a squeal. A chin rested in the crook of her neck and nuzzled her tenderly.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered. Momo peered back and looked into his blue irises. Tired sad eyes she sees too often.

"Izuru..." Momo turned in his grasp and looked up at him. "Did you get these for me?" she asked. He nodded, then gave a small smile.

"Like the card says, I don't talk about my feelings to you. And, I can tell it's been making you a little upset. And I'm sorry for that." Izuru touched foreheads with her. "I don't mean to be such a hermit crab, hiding in my shell all the time. I guess I just have to learn to talk to you and be more... open about my feelings." he smiled a bit more as he held onto Momo tighter. Momo's eyes trembled. It's like he read her mind. How did he know? "I hope you can forgive me for being so reserved." he said. Momo only smiled at him.

"Of course I can forgive you, Izuru." she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tightly. "Izuru, I love you. And I'm glad you told me this. I really am." she felt her eyes become wet. She couldn't cry. No! She refused!

"I know I'm not Mr. Perfect, but I try." he pulled away from her, seeing tears in her eyes. He instantly became worried. "Was it something I said? I'm sorry! I'll be more open and honest. I promise. Oh, Momo, don't cry. I won't-"

"I'm crying because I'm happy, silly." Momo sniffed. Izuru sighed in relief. That was good. "Thank-you for caring, Izuru. Even if it is a bit silly of me to feel this way." she looked down. Izuru brought his arms around her again.

"It's not silly." Izuru said. "I understand completely. And it's not fair for you to feel this way in our relationship. I should've realized that earlier. I just wish you would've told me. I felt a little guilty for a while." Izuru admitted. Momo looked at him surprised.

"I was going to tell you... tonight, actually. Oh, Izuru, I'm sorry..." she frowned.

"No! I'm sorry!" Izuru interjected. "It's mainly my fault! I suck at reading girls. Matsumoto even told me that when we first got together. So did Renji and even Shuuhei. Really, Momo, don't beat yourself up." Izuru kissed her cheek. "I got you flowers." he pointed to the lillies on the counter. Momo smiled.

"Yes. And they're very pretty flowers. Thank-you." she kissed him in return. A kiss which she was longing for, and Izuru wasn't expecting. After they broke apart, Momo's blushed matched Izuru's and he cleared his throat.

"Um, well, I guess that's a thank-you, huh?" he chuckled. Momo nodded. Izuru then hugged her again. He loved holding her. He loved feeling close to her, knowing she was his and that she wasn't going to leave him. Unlike someone else he once trusted. But he knew he could trust her. "I promise I won't be so quiet for now on. I'll tell you exactly how I feel whenever you ask." Izuru said.

"And I promise to do the same and let you know if you're driving me crazy." Momo responded. They both laughed and unlocked for the final time.

"Why don't we go to bed?" Izuru gestured to their bedroom, and Momo nodded.

"Sounds like a great idea." Momo smiled and was led by Izuru to their bedroom for a peaceful night of sleep.

* * *

**I really wanted to make a dramatic yet fluffy fan fic of Izuru and Momo, considering all the hardships they went through and their very long friendship. Well, what did you think? Can I motivate people to write more Izuru x Momo stories? Let's hope so! On to the next one!**


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